Friday, March 13, 2009

Dodge Neon

The following is an OLD post from the days when my blog was hosted on my own website. It can still be found there: at and actually contains a bunch of fun stuff, including all my bloggage from my trip to Germany last summer.

The second scariest experience of my life: i spent the day with a bunch of girls. we went to see the new Sex and the City movie. You think that's scary (it was)? After the movie we're all getting out of the car (because its Boulder and we carpooled to save the environment), and i put my camera and my water bottle on the back of the car so i can roll up the window (manual windows? on a Dodge Neon?) i successfully roll up the window and shut the door. Without waiting a second, she goes driving off! My D300, battery pack, and 100mm F2.8 are SWINGING off the spoiler (spoiler? on a Dodge NEON?!). I grabbed on and was forced to let go as she accelerated down the parking lot. s.h.i.t.
i am whistling and yelling and screaming as i run after my camera which is getting farther and farther away, swinging wildly from the spoiler on a dodge neon. there were a couple things going through my head at this point.

  1. How can she possibly not hear me?! I have the loudest mouth-only (no hands) whistle in Boulder.
  2. Can my camera survive a fall from a car at 35 mph?
  3. is there anyone in downtown Boulder who can NOT see my balls?
  4. running in a kilt is possible the most freeing experience I have ever had.

Finally, when she stops at a stop sign to turn onto the real road i think i might have her. nope. not. even. close. she zooms out onto the road, makes a sharp left turn and i am in the middle of the median finally getting to my senses. I call my girlfriend (because i do not have the driver's number) and say something to the effect of, "tell her to stop! She has my F***ing $5,000 camera!" she says "oh shit" and calls the driver, who is 3 blocks away and stops. My camera is still in one piece and managed to hold on despite all the crazy driving and swinging. The lesson?:

  1. Dodge neon's have no reason to even think about having a spoiler, but they can easily outrun an 18 year-old out of shape photographer.
  2. NEVER put your camera/profession/life on someone's car without getting their phone number
  3. Wear underwear when running kilted.
  4. The rubber on the bottom side of your "Nikon" strap has some serious grip to it.